If you don’t love my raw, you don’t get my pussy.

Posted on August 19, 2016 in Conscious Relating, Expression, female body, Feminine, Feminism, Love, News, Power, Relationship, Sex | Comments Off on If you don’t love my raw, you don’t get my pussy.

Photo on 19-08-2016 at 1.04 pm
 

The other day I shared with a lover (who’s in Boulder) that I was thinking about cutting all my hair off in a symbolic ritual for the end of my 28 day power journey. (cat’s out of the bag. I wasn’t going to say anything, but here we are).

 
Using hair, blood or semen (or any bodily stuff) in magick and ritual is super powerful. As a woman whose hair is really, let’s be honest, one of her main features… in a culture that rewards women who are ‘pretty’ and scoffs at and ignores women who aren’t… cutting off all your hair to the scalp is a massive fucking gesture. It’s a powerful ritualistic ingredient.
 
It is a POWERFUL statement. And I had no intention of doing this for anyone but myself. I still don’t know if I will (please don’t plead for or against here, either, this is my decision).
 
I didn’t know why I was sharing it with him, but I knew there was a reason.
 
His response was to get really worried, upset, ‘concerned’, and to tell me that he would not be attracted to me any more if I cut my hair off.
 
In that moment I said to myself
 
“This is EXACTLY why I SHOULD cut my hair off.”
 
I am a powerful force of a human. I am so deeply loving, sweet, fierce and I have been through SO much in order to embody what I do in my life. In order to be able to hold a MASSIVE space of love, transformation and possibility for others. If cutting off my hair means that men who are that superficial that they can’t see what is REALLY valuable within me, disqualify themselves from my life so I don’t have to deal with them, GREAT!
 
Because my hair is MY HAIR. My body is MY BODY.
 
I am a lot more than a mane of hair. And I ONLY want people around me who see me to the depth of what I am and value me for all of me. Not just what I look like.
 
I remember not that long ago telling someone about how unappolgetically being yourself is the best way to find your tribe. This person queried me “But isn’t going to mean that there’s a smaller pool of people who will be attracted to you?”
 
I looked at this person so flabbergasted at their way of thinking. At the level of compromise. At the way that society teaches us to be nice, to be liked, to be everything to all peoples. So that we can be accepted.
 
FUCK THAT.
 
My response was that
 
“Yes, the pool will be smaller. But that means that I don’t have to do the work of distinguishing the wheat form the chaff. The work is done for me. The people who I can share deep love, intimacy, friendship, understanding and acceptance with will be the ones who come in. Why would I want to waste my time and energy trying to get everyone to like me?”
 
Needing validation form everyone outside is a strong indicator of how little self love is on the inside.
 
We can love everyone. But you can’t let EVERYONE into your inner circle. There is only so much time and energy we all have.
 
Seriously, we are taught so fucking backwards.
 
For more on this, check this 5 min vlog  Being Too Much – The Exact Way to Find Your People
 
Ultimately, this is a wake up call to me. That, amongst all the awesome things that we share, that I would continue to engage with this person in a sexual way when I’ve known that I’m not being met in other very important ways (I knew what I was in. I chose that. It was really fun for the time it was appropriate).
 
Because really, when it comes down to it. I’m ready for deep, committed, expansive awesomely fun and adventurous spiritual partnership. That’s what I really want, not simply fun and sex without actually being seen. Committed partnership with a high level, awesome, loving, embodied and conscious, powerful man.
 
And that man is going to see me making a courageous gesture of cutting off all of my hair for ritual and manifestation and be like
 
“Babe, you’re fucking awesome.”
 
Because when you honour my raw, my wildness and all the fierceness, that’s when you get my love and my sweetness. That’s when you get admittance into pussy town.
 
Not before.
 
And anyway. Hair grows back. 😉