Emotional Patterns and the Motifs to Create Meaning
So I asked a bunch of people via FB “Why do we create meaning” and got a number of different responses. One was ‘to avoid the mystery’ which I think is definitely partly true. Some responses were things like ‘because it’s fun’. etc.
In some ways meaning ‘doesn’t exist’ and yet it clearly does. We give everything meaning, for those who observe synchronicity the universe is constantly giving you signals or ‘meaning’ which then give the receiver purpose or direction.
Nearly a year ago I went into a existential crisis after coming out of my yearly Vipassana retreat with a full embodied understanding of how ‘meaning is meaningless’. I.e meaning is only where we prescribe it to be.
This was a fucking hard place to sit in because how do you LIVE with that? How do you go on in life with full awareness that there is no meaning behind anything?
A year later, I have found the answer to my question ‘Why do we create meaning’.
I will come back to meaning.
Clearing. The purpose of clearing is to release emotional blocks or ‘anchors’ that hold in place emotional and behaviour patterns that sabotage us and hold us back form the lives we truly desire to have.
I have done a lot of clearing and one of the issues I’ve done a lot of clearing on is sexual abuse.
I thought I was free from this little insidious f*cker.
When I went into a 30 hour peak state recently from conversation with a lover, I likened it to an experience a year and a half ago where my now ex partner broke up with me and the shock sent me into a peak state for three solid weeks. That particular experience, unlike the more recent one, was not blissful. It was terrifying and strange. It was my initiation into the Void, the unknown and to embodied understanding of impermanence. That incident in itself was the mirroring of being abused as a child, being discarded and going into total disembodiment to deal with the trauma.
Was I seeing the same pattern again?
Yes and no.
Yes, it was the same MOTIF, but it was a different stage on the journey of my own story of relating. I was further through the minor arcana. Yes it was still cups, but the situation seemed different in it’s attitude.
Another way to describe this is through Spiral Dynamics. The motif and sign posts were all the same but I was higher though the Spiral. I was in a much higher level STAGE.
This is when I started laughing because I realised that there are some patterns or MOTIFS that we can’t clear. Or so it seems right now. Our life motifs, which have been with us forever are how we generate meaning in life. And while the lens through which we perceive the pattern changes, and while we change the way we interact with it, it still remains there.
Think of it this way. We are human beings. We live our lives and we weave our stories. However, we are just a conglomerate of a bunch of higher level, universal narratives being played out by the archetypes of the psyche, and on the ‘god’ level. As we clear the patterns that keep us bound and identified with being solely an individual, our story also becomes less individualised and is identified more at a collective narrative level.
Patterns are the alphabets we use to weave and create narrative, but mostly this is done completely unconsciously. Clearing changes this.
As we sit at the lower levels of being stuck in suffering and only identifying with our own individual ego, we are in pain when we encounter these patterns, but as we evolve beyond this perspective, what happens is we start to be able to recognise that life is being taken on the universal tide of narrative. At this level, at this archetypal level of consciousness, it is no longer about the PATTERN. The pattern is ALWAYS going o be there because that’s what’s in the human psyche. What it becomes about is the MEANING that we choose to create from that pattern. It is not about the mirror (the pattern) it is about the space BETWEEN the mirror and your perception. It is the meaning you choose to place there.
As we begin on our clearing journey it seems that we ARE clearing our patterns (we are) AND at the same time, as our consciousness evolves and we come into a collective narrative mind, we simply encounter the ‘pattern’ (motif) in a more archetypal way and therefore change our relationship to it. It seems similar, but also radically different.
Why is this important?
Why when I asked people ‘why do we create meaning?’ I got responses like ‘because people are afraid of the mystery’ (yes, they totally are, and this statement could be interpreted as being dismissive of meaning itself, which many schools of spirituality tend to do), or ‘because it’s fun.’
I have never had a good response on this question yet, until now (thanks peak state realisations!).
And it comes at a perfect time when I am really exploring the truth of how the Feminine has been denied in spiritual history. This means that LIFE has been denied. Life is an ‘illusion’ it’s ‘not real’ etc etc etc.
LIFE is the place where we generate meaning, not the ‘nothingness’ of the Shiva realm. That is a place of pure consciousness and awareness. Pure perception sees that meaning is arbitrarily placed depending upon the level of someone’s consciousness. But if meaning is so arbitrary, then why do we create it at all?
Because to create meaning, and to create it consciously, is to be the master of it (not having the pattern or narrative write you). It means to create your life consciously.
Meaning is what drives our lives. It what determines how we think, feel and act. Meaning is what keeps us in life. So to be unbound to patterns, to see them as the mirror instead of the problem, and then to choose which meaning to ascribe to a situation is totally radical.
It means, ultimately to become a kind of Creator Being or have a god like consciousness and creative power.
It is the ultimate union of Shiva and Shakti. But truly, because it honours the creative power of life and does not dismiss it as illusion. It is using it as it’s thread to weave itself into being. It is not afraid of it because it is the writer of the narrative. It is not being written. It is true realisation on both of the polarities.
This brings us down (or up) to a question of –
Why create at all?
Because… consciousness does not exist without the thing that births it into being: creation, the goddess, the manifest world etc.
By creating our lives we are constantly bringing consciousness into manifest form.
There is only one other step I can get to from here (tell me if you can go further).
And that is…